The Walls We Build — and How They Block Referrals
- Kevin Bowles
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
Sometimes the biggest obstacle to growing your home care agency isn’t the market, the competition, or the referral sources that “won’t respond.”
It’s the walls you've built inside yourselves.
Walls made of beliefs you've carried for years.
Walls you don’t even realize are standing between you and the very people you're trying to reach.
The Invisible Walls That Limit Growth
In the senior care world, we tell ourselves stories every day, about families, about referral partners, about ourselves.
Over time, those stories become belief walls that silently dictate our behavior.
“Hospitals never refer to me.”
“Social workers already have their preferred agency.”
“I’m not pushy enough to be good at sales.”
“Doctors don’t have time for me.”
“Families won’t pay private rates.”
“I don’t want to seem salesy.”
"I'm not smart enough to meet with a wealth manager or attorney or trust officer."
Sound familiar?
Each of those beliefs becomes a brick. And together, those bricks create barriers, not between you and your competitors, but between you and your next referral.
When your beliefs limit what you think is possible, they limit the actions you take.
And in business development, action is everything.
What These Walls Cause You
Lost Opportunities
Shallow Relationships
Missed Influence
The result?
Fewer conversations. Fewer connections. Fewer referrals.
Curiosity: The Referral Multiplier
The opposite of judgment isn’t neutrality, it’s curiosity.
Curiosity tears down walls and turns resistance into relationship.
When curiosity leads your conversations, you shift from selling services to solving problems.
You stop trying to “get a referral” and start trying to understand the person in front of you.
That’s where trust grows, and trust is the true currency of referrals.
How Tearing Down Belief Walls Leads to More Referrals
Here’s what happens when you dismantle the internal beliefs that hold you back:
You Approach Gatekeepers Differently
You Build Emotional Safety with Referral Partners
You Reconnect with Your Mission
You See Possibility Everywhere
You Start Leading Instead of Chasing
A Challenge for This Week
In your next conversation with a referral partner or family:
Pause before assuming what they mean or want.
Ask one more question instead of making one more pitch.
Listen for what’s not being said.
And when you feel that wall of defensiveness start to rise — stop, breathe, and get curious.
Because every time you choose curiosity over certainty, you strengthen connection.
And in our industry, connection is conversion.
Final Thought
Your next 10 referrals won’t come from some secret marketing trick.
They’ll come from deeper human connection, the kind only possible when you’re willing to look at your own beliefs first.
Tear down the wall.
Build the bridge.
Stay curious.
That’s The Referral Edge.
Thank you for reading,
Sarah Barker
858-222-9241
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